For me the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable; my interest has been to convince you that you must assume responsibility for being here, in this marvelous world, in this marvelous desert, in this marvelous time. I want to convince you that you must learn to make every act count, since you are going to be here for only a short while, in fact, too short for witnessing all the marvels of it.
Don Juan’s teachings, Carlos Castaneda, Journey to Ixtlan
I’m sitting here on Halloween and this seems like a fitting day to lay out this last bit. To start from the end, but every end is also a new beginning, right? This is going to be a mess of a ride for you– because it was at times a total shit-show for me. I’m all over the place, with lots of swearing and gnashing of teeth, questioning my sanity and slaying of far too many sacred cows… But please, walk with me, just a little bit. Try your best to hold judgement until you come out the other side, and then we can talk about how bat-shit crazy I could be… But maybe, just maybe, I’m not so crazy and you’ll find we’re in alignment, regardless of your background or place in this world. Not all of you will agree, but I’m betting my life some of you, enough of you, will hear and grok.
I invite you on a journey into my mind, and through my mind to a connection with the ineffable, the Universe, God even if you want to call it that, for some answers to life’s big questions, and a path through this mess. Just a little bit of your time is all I ask, walk with me. Don’t fight against me, don’t try to pull yourself off our path and in another direction, just walk with me for a little while – that’s all I ask, for a little bit of your time… What do you have to lose?
I can and will keep going, but where do I find the logical end point to this meandering, often times maddening, dialog? I think my last marathon session on 10/28/19 is a good place. I have gone round and round with the base ideas, presenting them from a several different perspectives, to carve out what it is, exactly, we’ve been working towards. Sometimes it might feel like a descent into egotistical fluff, or even the Heart of Darkness, but there’s a reason behind all this. The base ideas are both very large but also small and easy. Like the duality that is the Universe, it scales infinitely in either direction. That’s why the Tao Te Ching reads like a puzzle; it’s why getting a straight answer from the Universe can be so damn maddening. All things are, literally, bi-polar. Nature, the Universe, the Earth, the Human body, atoms, quarks, quantum strings, etc. – all are bi-polar… Ha! Maybe we should say dual-polarity, lest I be accused of being certifiably bipolar for real.
But I’ve decided to move forward with this, anyway. I remember one of the first self-help books I ever saw, on my mother’s bookshelf when I was a teenager – Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway. I guess my mantra is now feel the crazy and go forth with your message anyway. So what if I meet the criteria of bipolar with delusions of grandeur with a healthy side of schizophrenia? I am fully comfortable with that diagnosis, should someone want to throw it my way. I posit that it does not matter – this is too important to hide behind fear of what people will say – and they will, or what attacks come my way, and they will if I’m over the target that I feel I am. The flack is a sign we’re over the target, not that we’re on the wrong path.
I can be bat-shit crazy, or, like my mother was once told when I was still a young boy, “he could be like an Edgar Cayce”. I don’t know, maybe hearing that when I was young set me up for a life of thinking I’m something… But I want you to understand that I don’t care because it doesn’t matter what labels we use. The message stands on its own as both mad rantings and as Universal wisdom. I developed a set of rules to follow that I am comfortable with, to mitigate the possibility of crazed rantings sending folks off in a negative direction. I hope you’ll see them as logical and sensible, like I do. When you get the calling, the voice, “them talking to you”; when the thoughts in your head are so big and so far out they couldn’t possibly be “my own” any longer, then you have to come to terms with what it is you’re sitting with. That’s where I am today – perfectly comfortable with this gift we all have, and ready to start putting my way to positive use. What’s the fucking point if I just sit on all this, afraid of what “they” might think?
In my opinion, a person would be for-real certifiable if they did not leave that door open as a possibility to explain this thing we can do. I say we because, as you’ll read in the coming pages, I am not special. I am not giving you anything here you probably haven’t heard before. I don’t even know how much of this we can claim is even an original, new thought or idea. This is not about me; this is about humanity overall and how we choose to continue this dance through life that we find ourselves in.
Do we self-annihilate?
Do we limp along another couple hundred years, and eventually die out, like in the story Cloud Atlas?
Do we end it all with one big bang of Nuclear War or deadly disease?
Or do we choose differently, going forward from the now?
Do we declare the end of one epoch in human history and, slowly, painfully – not without errors and setbacks, but without annihilation and destruction, do we pick ourselves up, grow ourselves up, and join this galactic community that is our birthright?
Whether or not I’m crazy doesn’t matter, and I hope you’ll agree… However, how we label things and call things doesn’t matter, because our language is imperfect.
The message matters.
This message matters.
We matter and we can do better, but you have to know that you have the choice to do better before you can make it so. You know what I’m saying is right. Hell, you can be the staunchest Christopher Hitchens atheist and you’ll, hopefully, still agree with me! Drop all the quasi-religious, spiritual parts and cut to the meat of the point here:
The survival of our species demands that we do better, and soon.
I cannot predict the future. I can read some of the infinite threads and tell you probable path outcomes if you like, but I don’t need a crystal ball and connection to the ineffable Universe to tell you those things. I only need a balanced mind and to follow some big propositions through to their logical conclusions.
We are an immature species with a lot of destructive power. Like a preteen with the key’s to Mom & Dad’s tracked and armored rocket launcher. Would you trust a petulant and moody child with 40 high explosive warheads and a 200km range? What about a bratty tween with their finger on the nuclear launch button?
Because that is who and what we are, collectively, right now.
We love to look at our accomplishments and pat ourselves on our backs for how advanced and sophisticated we are, all grown up and adulting; but at the end of the day – and you all know this deep in your hearts, even if you have trouble admitting or even articulating it: We humans are still very young.
We are destructive children with very powerful and dangerous toys, and we allow our fellow children with the worst of the worst motives and self-destructive tendencies to be in charge of things. Our culture is geared for the worst of us to rise to the top, and when they get there they do what spoiled, immature children do without fail – they soil their own space, with no regard for long-term viability, livability, or even survivability.
I am not a pessimist. We have so much beauty and possibility – look how far we’ve come! I feel we are on the cusp of something, but I know it takes hard work to get over that hump; to clear this precipice, this trial of adulthood. We can choose to do it, or we can choose to not do it – both options are on the table. Both options are always on the table
So call me crazy, burn me at the stake, shoot the messenger… But I think if you go to that quiet place we all can find, where no one else is watching or listening, where you can be fully honest without fear of judgement or consequences, you’ll agree also – we are children and we need to grow up.
I cannot tell you the future, but I can tell you some possibilities, to help give you a picture for what we manifest, what we co-create together. To know one side is to know the other, once you get the hang of it. So a negative vision serves as a big flashing warning sign of “don’t go down here”. Know the worst of the worst of where we can go, and then flip its polarity in your mind and focus on that.
I can see a lot of timeline threads and I know which one I am working to manifest: I like the thread where we come in for a soft landing, not a crash landing, and not – God forbid, a crash and burn or a complete explosion and annihilation in the sky… a soft landing is my manifestation vision for my future, but I cannot force you to join me.
The choice is yours.
Yes YOU, reading this right now.
Everything you need already exists, not just in the expected places like religious texts, but also contemporary art and entertainment, even. Open your mind and listen. There is plenty of help if you know not only how to ask, but, more importantly, how to listen. A lot of us know how to ask, but fewer know how to listen. As I’ve settled into being a better listener, I hope you’ll find some helpful tips and pointers that have worked for me. I hope you understand, at the end, why I’m leaving most of my raw notes and writing intact, without too much editing and rearranging – because my manifestation is you walk this path with me, even if only for a few hours. If you can suspend disbelief, allow me my potty-mouth cursing, blasphemy, and skewering of some very large sacred cows, then I have a message for you:
The fate of the world depends on you to make a choice; if you choose not to decide you have still made a choice and you have ceded your ability to manifest to universal chance, or, worse, to those who have a different vision for our future. Make no mistake, there are the opposite ideas and goals out there working against us, regardless if you “feel” they are or are not, whether you lie to yourself and choose to believe it that “they would never do that!”. I assure you, “they” can and will do that – we are already and have been doing that – working towards self-annihilation – until we choose not to.
Rush – Freewill
There are those who think that life
Has nothing left to chance
With a host of holy horrors
To direct our aimless dance
A planet of playthings
We dance on the strings
Of powers we cannot perceive
“The stars aren’t aligned –
Or the gods are malign”
Blame is better to give than receive
You can choose a ready guide
In some celestial voice
If you choose not to decide
You still have made a choice
You can choose from phantom fears
And kindness that can kill
I will choose a path that’s clear
I will choose free will.
There are those who think that
They were dealt a losing hand
The cards were stacked against them
They weren’t born in Lotus-Land.
A prisoner in chains
A victim of venomous fate
Kicked in the face
You can’t pray for a place
In Heaven’s unearthly estate
Each of us
A cell of awareness
Imperfect and incomplete
With uncertain ends
On a fortune hunt
That’s far too fleet…
You have a choice to make.
Maybe we limp along and survive by accident, maybe not…
If you do indeed have a choice, and this is what I’m doing here – trying to remind you what you already know: you have a choice to make. Knowing that you have a choice in the matter, don’t you prefer to take positive control and ensure that we survive? If you can get this far, and know that we do indeed have a choice, then why not just survive, but thrive?
For me the choice and the answer is obvious; there’s no other way but we do it ourselves. There is no easy answer and, yes, the answer requires some heavy lifting. 10,000 lbs to a single person seems impossible to move, but among 100 people it becomes easier, and among 10,000 people it’s downright easy – a mere 1 lb each.
I invite you to choose to join me with this heavy lifting. If we choose together it won’t be so heavy, after all, and we just might get to have some fun along the way.
I am so excited and filled with unlimited joy and love for what we can accomplish, and also so utterly terrified of how bad we might choose to make things. I am the center between these two realities.
Chief Manifestation Engineer – CME “See Me!”